the international sleep exchange
July 3, 2015, 1:40 pm
Filed under: brave new world | Tags: , , ,

An MBA walks into a room – the start of a bad joke – and proclaims this institution – or company, NGO, whatever – no longer works and I am going to fix it, and then proceeds to radically alter the root structure of the thing – which has existed and served people well in the black for generations – even to the point of destruction, and pockets the profits. This has happened over and over, again and again during the neoliberal age: education, health, food and agriculture, transport, government services, housing. So what next, after all of the conventional businesses and institutions have been gutted? Here’s a dark vision of the next step in which the MBA ups the ante and air, water, flesh, our minds become the new targets.

Sex, sunshine, sleep, singing. The best things in life are currently free. We’d better make the most of them, because in a frackable future they’ll all be metered and chargeable. Libido International or whoever would be alerted to any sexual activity via, I don’t know, some sort of monitored hormonal “thinkernet” and would shut it down after 60 seconds unless you authorised a debit or had a prepaid sex account.

Maybe people will be fitted with retinal paywalls to allow in sunshine, which will be owned by a solar consortium based somewhere tax-efficient and warm. Sleep would be traded on the international sleep exchange – imagine the premium new parents would pay for an hour of ultra-deep oblivion. And all human singing would be automatically Shazammed to a central licensing bureau for billing, the days of “out of copyright” having long gone. Everything out of copyright will be automatically the copyright of Singinc, who own “trad” and “anon” now, too. And your vocal cords.

In the future it will probably be best to stay celibate, in the dark, awake for as long as possible and quiet. So let’s live a little now, before we’re all fracked.

Fracketeering: how capitalism is power-hosing the last drops of value out of us all: Once you’ve mined the earth and milked the service industries, what is there left to frack? Us, that’s what – with everything from admin charges and estate agent fees to blockbuster premiums and ‘cakeage’, by Ian Martin, The Guardian

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