Filed under: brave new world | Tags: fear, intimacy, neo-capitalism, sex, shy, society, space, timidity
This is about a fearful place. Fear makes us protect ourselves, aggress, fight. It ultimately drives from each other. In truly fearful places, there is no real intimacy except in the bedroom.
Intimacy is fearless – not timid. True intimacy is living fearlessly in a fearless place.
Intimacy in principle means not to be timid or “timide”(in French). But of course In is non. Inconscience, Incontinent. So the meaning of in is non. So its non-timide. And that’s what is intimate. The interesting thing is that we change intimacy to a very small space, a very safe space where you can be intimate, we think. But what we mean with intimate is not “timide”, is open to everything, is borderless, is every protection away, in principle. And it’s not just a small space where you can….
And then of course in history it’s got a very sexual connotation. For me ideal for society would be if we did not use the word intimacy. A society that is not timid. Timid is not a quality. When someone says someone is shy “Oh he or she is so shy”- you have fear, that’s why you are shy. Intimacy is not a quality. Intimacy is a quality but it shouldn’t be called intimacy. It’s just that you are open. In this fearful society where everyone is putting daggers in each others’ back, usurping each other – the neo-capitalist society is like this – in this society intimacy is reduced to the bed, or to the most private space where you dare to be without protection.
So intimacy is the space where you are without the fear that forces you to protect yourself.
-Jan Ritsema, from Sleeping Beauty’s blog, searching for intimacy
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